“Do two walk together unless they have agreed to do so?”
— Amos 3:3 (NIV)
The Currency of Secrets
Money changes when you cross a border. It’s not just the currency that shifts from Naira or Cedis to Dollars; the anxiety shifts too.
In the Diaspora, money is the number one source of marital friction. Why? Because of the Financial Fog.
One spouse is secretly sending money back home to a sibling (“Black Tax”). The other is racking up credit card debt to furnish the apartment to look “successful.” One is saving aggressively for a house; the other is spending to cope with loneliness.
We hide purchases. We intercept bank statements. We operate in a fog of silence because we are afraid to admit the reality: It is harder to survive here than we told people it would be.
The Agreement
Amos asks, “Can two walk together unless they agree?” The answer is no. You cannot walk toward financial freedom if you are walking on two different maps.
Financial infidelity – hiding money, debt, or remittances – destroys trust faster than poverty does.
God calls us to walk in the light. This means total transparency. It means putting the “Black Tax” on the table and agreeing together on a budget for extended family support. It means admitting to the credit card debt so you can attack it as a team.
Your New Economy
Your marriage is a sovereign economy. You need to declare your own laws.
- “We send $200 home a month, no more.”
- “We check with each other for purchases over $50.”
- “We are saving for our house here before we build a mansion back home.”
When you clear the fog, the fear leaves. You stop being two anxious individuals hiding receipts and become one stewarding team, managing God’s resources for your family’s future.
🛡️ The Diaspora Challenge
Action steps for your union today.
- Open Books Night: This weekend, sit down with all your bank apps, credit card statements, and pay stubs.
- The Confession: Is there a hidden debt or a secret remittance? Put it on the table. Offer grace, not judgment, for the confession.
- The “Remittance Budget”: Agree on a fixed monthly number for supporting family back home. Stick to it.
🙏 A Prayer for Stewardship
Lord, money has caused a fog in our home. We bring our finances into Your light. Give us the courage to be honest about our debts, our spending, and our obligations. Help us to agree on a path forward. We choose today to be stewards, not secret-keepers. Bless the work of our hands and grant us peace in our finances. Amen.
This is Day 9 of The Diaspora Devotional series (Focus: Marriage) by Andrew Airahuobhor. [Get The Diaspora Couple Book Here]