“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.” — Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 (NIV)
The Vanishing Safety Net
Back home, it takes a village to raise a child – and often, it takes a village to sustain a marriage. You had aunties to watch the baby, grandmothers to give advice, and brothers to help move furniture. The pressure was distributed across a network.
Here, the village has vanished. It has shrunk down to just two people: You and your spouse.
This isolation is a pressure cooker. When the baby cries at 3 AM, and you have work at 7 AM, there is no grandma to tag in. When you are frustrated, there is no uncle to vent to. All the emotional, financial, and physical load lands on two sets of shoulders.
Turning on Each Other
When the pressure mounts, the easiest target is the person sleeping next to you. We start to see our spouse as the cause of our stress rather than our partner in it. We keep score. “I changed the last three diapers.” “I worked a double shift.”
The “Village of Two” cannot survive competition. It only survives through radical cooperation.
The Power of “Us”
Ecclesiastes says, “Two are better than one.” This is your survival strategy. In this land, you are each other’s safety net. You are each other’s “village.”
This means you must become fiercely protective of your unity. You cannot afford the silent treatment. You cannot afford to live parallel lives. You must over-communicate. You must tag-team. When one falls (and in this migration journey, you will fall), the other must be there – not to judge, but to lift up.
You don’t have the luxury of division. You are a two-person army. Fight back-to-back, not face-to-face.
🛡️ The Diaspora Challenge
Action steps for your union today.
- The “Team Meeting”: Tonight, after the kids are asleep (or before bed), have a 10-minute stand-up meeting.
- The Question: Ask this specific question: “What is one thing weighing on you this week that I can help carry?”
- The Rule: No defending, no score-keeping. Just listen and strategize.
🙏 A Prayer for Unity
Father, the isolation here is heavy. We miss our village. But we thank You that You have given us to one another. Forgive us for turning against each other when the pressure gets high. Knit our hearts together. Make us a fortress of two. Help us to lift each other up so that our marriage becomes the safest place in this new world. Amen.
This is Day 8 of The Diaspora Devotional series (Focus: Marriage) by Andrew Airahuobhor. [Get The Diaspora Couple Book Here]