“They were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.”
— Genesis 2:25 (ESV)
Not Just a Chore
Sex in marriage is not just physical – it’s spiritual, emotional, and sacred. God created it not only for procreation but for bonding, healing, and joy.
But over time, the drift happens.
- We let unresolved offences build walls in the bedroom.
- We view intimacy as another item on the to-do list, a “chore” to get over with.
- We use sex as a weapon – punishing with distance or rewarding with closeness.
That is not God’s design. When two become one flesh, the union is meant to reflect Christ’s love: self-giving, intimate, and vulnerable.
Overcoming the Shame Script
Many of us were raised with shame-based views of sex. We were told “don’t do it” without being taught “how to do it God’s way.” Many women were taught endurance, not enjoyment. Many men were taught conquest, not connection.
Now, in marriage, we must unlearn the shame and relearn God’s heart.
- Sex is for reconnection. It is the glue that bonds you back together after a hard week.
- Affection is holy. Holding hands, kissing, and laughing are acts of covenant worship.
- Intimacy is clean. “The marriage bed is undefiled” (Hebrews 13:4).
The enemy loves to distort this holy fire. He wants to ignite it outside the garden (adultery) or smother it inside the garden (coldness). Don’t let him.
🛡️ The Covenant Challenge
Action steps for your marriage today.
- The Honest Talk: Ask your spouse: “How do you honestly feel about our connection lately – disconnected, okay, or close?” (Listen without getting defensive).
- Non-Sexual Touch: Make a point to touch your spouse 3 times today (a hug, a hand squeeze, a back rub) without it leading to sex. Build safety and affection first.
- The Date: Plan a “Sacred Date” this week. No phones. No kid talk. Just you two.
🙏 A Prayer for Passion
Lord, You are the author of intimacy. Thank you for the gift of the marriage bed. Heal every place of pain, shame, or neglect in our union. Teach us to honour each other emotionally and physically. Let our intimacy be a place of laughter, freedom, and deep connection. In Jesus’ name, Amen.