“If a house is divided against itself, that house cannot stand.”
— Mark 3:25 (NIV)
Roommates or Partners?
Marriage is not just sleeping in the same bed – it’s walking in the same direction. Yet many couples in the Diaspora live like roommates or business partners.
We maintain separate secret bank accounts. We have conflicting parenting styles (one is “Western,” one is “Traditional”). We harbour unspoken resentment over how much time the in-laws get.
These cracks weaken the foundation. You might not see the collapse today, but a house divided against itself cannot stand indefinitely.
The Diaspora Disconnect
Cultural friction often fuels this division. Perhaps one of you comes from a “send money home monthly” tradition, while the other wants to save aggressively for a house in Canada or the UK. Perhaps one wants privacy, while the other involves the extended family in every dispute.
These clashes are not sinful, but they are dangerous if left unaddressed.
Unity doesn’t mean you agree on everything instantly. It means you prioritize the “Us” over the “Me.” It means you stop making unilateral decisions. It means you submit your individual preferences to the shared mission of the marriage.
The Power of Agreement
God designed marriage to be a partnership, not a power struggle.
- Unity says, “Let’s talk this through until we find a third way.”
- Unity says, “Your opinion matters as much as mine.”
- Unity says, “We are a team. If one of us loses, we both lose.”
🛡️ The Covenant Challenge
Action steps for your marriage today.
- The Alignment Check: Choose ONE area to discuss calmly today: Finances, In-laws, or Parenting.
- The Shared Goal: Write down one shared goal for that area. (e.g., “We agree to save $X this month before sending money home.”)
- The “We” Language: Catch yourself saying “My money” or “My plan” and change it to “Our money” and “Our plan.”
🙏 A Prayer for Unity
Father, You are the God of unity. Forgive us for every area where we’ve allowed ego, silence, or secrets to divide us. Teach us to plan without competing. Let our financial, emotional, and spiritual decisions reflect one heart and one purpose. In Jesus’ name, Amen.